The Third-Life Crisis

I feel old.

I often play it off as the fine lines on my forehead, which truly does bother me; but realistically, it is a bit less shallow than that.

It still feels like yesterday - I used to tell myself that I still have these many decades before I'm 60. The ripe age of retirement. While I now understand that turning 60 doesn't necessarily mean life is over, we cannot deny the fact that most people do get sick by this time, and a lot of things become restricted.

My fear is that I have so many things to do yet, but time is ticking.

What used to be "I have so and so many years" is now almost two decades less. I don't really want to give myself a deadline, and I also do believe that I have enjoyed my younger years quite a bit - I still feel like there's so much more to do. So many things to learn, places to visit, and experiences to live. Can I do that in the remaining 25-40 years of my life? Maybe more, maybe less.

As I approach the end of the "thirdth" of my life, I will do everything in my power to make sure that I waste no time. That included getting a motorcycle, which also sometimes makes me feel like I did this too late. Did I?

Regardless of the timeline of events, I probably should not dwell on the time I may have left. It's bittersweet, thinking things may end. I want more time not just for myself, but I want to spend this and experience all these with those that I love most.

​Can we pause time? Just for a bit.