Good Things Happen

Today's thoughts...

Nothing But a Pipe Dream

Healthy Positivity

I feel like I am really getting old. The more time I spent thinking back, the more I realize that the things I've experience keep adding up in the many years of my life. I also acknowledge how much things have changed, and it's pretty interesting how our lives developed throughout the years.

There will always be someone trying to discourage us, and I'm not gonna lie and pretend that it doesn't affect us or that we can always just ignore these things. Growing up, many people including a lot of adults, told me that I wouldn't succeed or that my life wouldn't be good. I was a strong-willed, independent, and very stubborn child. It was perceived to be rebellious and good for nothing. It was absolutely not always rainbows and butterflies, there were tough times too. But I think this is why things are the way they are, and why I never really gave up. Same reason why I'm always positive and do my best to stay positive.

Nothing but a pipe dream...

Return to top

Several years ago, someone told me that the things I wanted to do were nothing but a pipe dream. Going to be really honest here, I don't even know what "pipe dream" meant. I had to ask my husband to elaborate - and it basically meant that what I wanted to do were impossible. They're a just a dream, out reach, unattainable. I was told this because I said we'll someday travel, and eventually go an a cruise and see the swimming pigs in Exuma, Bahamas. 

It was very discouraging, this person was family who was supposed to be wise and supportive. I didn't understand why it was a pipe dream. I've travelled before I moved to the U.S. Granted, travel here is much more expensive than it was in Asia, but I still didn't think it was completely impossible. At that time, Bear and I were financially struggling and were just trying to make ends meet. It never crossed my mind that it was going to be our whole lives - we were going to work it out and put us in a better place as we plan our married life together. That was the goal - to be in a better financial situation and be able to do the things we love together.

Then someone tried to crush those thoughts....

But why? They proceeded to tell me that what I wanted "wasn't the normal life in the U.S." and that people didn't really travel, and that the friends and family that I have here must be rich to be able to do so. Is travelling a luxury? Oh absolutely, it is. It costs money and oftentimes we need to spend our money elsewhere like rent, food, medicine, instead of having hobbies or doing things. So I understood that it's not something you do in a whim unless you're well off. However, I didn't really think it was impossible either. We can start close to home, save up, do fun things here and there - having wonderful experiences is what matters, right? 

We Move Forward

Those words never left my mind. The person who told me that probably already forgot that they even said these. But it was always in my head - are these things just a pipe dream? Will I never see the beach again, sip a cold glass of margaritas and watch the sunrise? Will I never get to travel anymore, and just sit back and watch my life happen? It shouldn't bother me really, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that this same person also told us how we shouldn't want to be better because it's a stretch, it's too much to ask for.

That's when it hit me...

A lot of people's negativity and discouraging words are just a projection of their own feelings for themselves.

They could have a lot of reasons, they don't want anyone else to be better than them; they don't think other people can achieve anything else if they can't; or they just really have a negative outlook in life.

Whatever caused them to be discouraging and always be negative is a THEM PROBLEM. Not you.

I know it's easier said than done, but we shouldn't let other people tear down what we plan to build. Good things do happen, sometimes we just have to keep trying and trying, until we get to our happy place. It's not always glamourous, it's not always fun and happy, we will hit road bumps. At the end of the day, we have to keep moving because how we live our lives doesn't affect them.

Attracting Healthy Positivity

Return to top

​Have you heard of toxic positivity? So toxic positivity is when someone is always positive, always looking at the good aspects of life, which leads to someone to suppressing negative emotions as if no one is allowed feel or express them.

That's not what we want to do here.

Whenever I promote positivity to anyone - my family, my peers, my colleagues, it does negate any negative events, outcomes, and feelings. The first thing to get positive results is by acknowledging the potential negative outcomes or being conscious of what may already be going wrong or had gone wrong. We don't want to remove these things from the equation - we want to be aware of these things so we can either fix it, avoid it, or plan for it. It takes some forethought, but it can be about any little thing.

I'm not a psychologist and I don't have a degree in these studies - but I'm sharing what's worked for me so far. Don't be afraid to get frustrated, but also don't give up. It's hard. I know it's very hard, and I also understand each one of us is different. Take your time, give things a thought, but you will eventually get your break. You'll never find out what you're capable of unless you try. I don't really believe in failures, I look at them as challenges. Prove it to yourself, that you can do it.

---