Monday started like a typical Monday - was very hard to get out of bed, the gloomy skies and intermittent rain made it much more favorable to close my eyes and just doze off again. My Mondays are typically mundane, unless I have something urgent or complicated going on at work - I did my usual checking of cases, emails, preparing for my first meeting, then onto the next.
One of the managers, who is usually very composed, requested for assistance for his team. I felt the panic in his voice, not sure if that's what it was, but that's how I perceived it. He then said that he didn't know if we knew yet, but one of our colleagues was missing since Sunday morning.
We were all in shock, but we hoped for the best. I hoped for the best.
I've never really thought of myself as an overthinker. While I tend to stick to personal routines to do things a certain way or in a certain order, I think I'm spontaneous to an extent. Well, I haven't been overthinking until lately. I know that a big part of that is from the stress of adulting, but the rest of my restlessness is quite unfounded.
My art is my escape. My paintings, my photography, and even doing my makeup is a some form of relief. I sat there, trying to paint, still in love with the beauty of fall - even if the colors haven't even turned yet despite being already halfway through October. But my mind was just lost in a hazy, random thought.
Life's been pretty stressful lately. While I don't really talk about it or even show the extent of my (financial idiocy and) miseries, it is happening in the background more often than I care to admit. I've probably mentioned my struggles a few times before, and I really don't like doing that - but I'm pretty transparent, so I guess there's that.
That being said, tough times sometimes bring out the best in people. It definitely brings out the best out of my husband for sure. I never really want to burden Bear with anything. I think a part of that is the thought that I'm older - so I should be more responsible in handling things. Yet here he is, bailing me out of every stupid decision I've made. I've really been down lately, and I honestly feel ashamed because I've let my husband down too. The fact that he's very supportive and caring the whole time is priceless, I really appreciate it that he's by my side no matter what.
We got home last night from a family dinner, and Bear prepared my foot massage and soak! I really couldn't be anymore grateful!
I need more time just like this... just to contemplate
I woke up pretty early today. Well, too early if you ask me. Bear sat next to me before he had to leave for work and we cuddled, but of course Ein had to come up and pounce me nonstop because he had to go out. Afraid of poopie accidents, the cuddles were cut short and I took him out at 5 a.m. on a Saturday and I haven't fallen asleep since. And if you were curious, no Ein spent his time running around chasing Hans, sprinkled his business and no poop, and well, ran around and chased some leaves.
I've had my early lunch, cleaned the kitchen and the back hallway (partially). I think I'm done for the day and I'm ready for a nap. I easily get drained on weekends, and thinking about the upcoming trip I have on Monday just makes me more anxious and tired in advance.
Hey, it's me!
I've always loved to write. Not saying I'm good at it, but hey this is the story of my life!
Things I Love
Photography. Puppies. Arts. Crafts. Cooking. Animals. Makeup. Beaches. Pink things.