Lost in Thoughts

I've never really thought of myself as an overthinker. While I tend to stick to personal routines to do things a certain way or in a certain order, I think I'm spontaneous to an extent. Well, I haven't been overthinking until lately. I know that a big part of that is from the stress of adulting, but the rest of my restlessness is quite unfounded.

My art is my escape. My paintings, my photography, and even doing my makeup is a some form of relief. I sat there, trying to paint, still in love with the beauty of fall - even if the colors haven't even turned yet despite being already halfway through October. But my mind was just lost in a hazy, random thought.

Ah everything seems chaotic. A mess. The most organized part of my house is my craft room (or maybe it's my office), but it's still just so chaotic. My mind is currently chaotic.

 ⭐ You know they say money doesn't buy you happiness?  ⭐
 
I think that's a lie. I think it's just an excuse to make oneself who has little or no money feel better that they have no money. There I said it. Money can pay the bills I'm dreading and that would relieve 80% of my stress; of the world's stress. It can buy food, shelter, gas, utilities, and pretty much everything else you need in a modern life.

And yes, I've heard people say well live simply! That's easier said than done. I'd love to live out in the country, and we would love to homestead and be more self sufficient - but do you know how much that costs to get started? For starters, a 5-acre to 10-acre land wouldn't be any cheaper than $300,000. You really won't be able to get a 1-acre lot in the country, and if you find one in the city the cost would be pretty much the same as the larger parcel out in the country. So pick your poison, I mean mortgage.

That being said - yeah, money will buy the land and farm that'll make us self sufficient. As of this currently moment, it'll pay the bills and the debt that I owe. Ugh, the anxiety and stress is getting to me. I probably should just make an anonymous Reddit post in some forum in there - but oh well - reality check! Life's not always fun and games. We do try to insert some fun while wallowing in worry. Life's short so let's balance the problems lol. Can't worry forever, can I? I don't wanna not enjoy today when we'll never know tomorrow. Sounds careless? Yeah, pretty much.

Okay, I sound so bitter today. Perhaps it's time to step away from the computer and just get on with painting.