The Storm in my Head

There is chaos that hides behind the rainbow.

​I always do my best to look at the bright side of things and see the positive results amid whatever is seemingly going wrong. Some people might think I'm extra #YouGotThis #Positivity and all that - but there's definitely a reason. Today, I choose to share a little bit more on what's behind my positivity rainbow.

I decided to paint something today. While abstract is my favorite style of paintings, I rarely do it myself. Typically I use watercolor and paint nature. I decided to play some modern violin music and got my new easel ready for use. Today I painted this piece I call, "The Storm in my Head".

For some reason, it felt surreal painting this and I wasn't really sure why. I'm not really tired, I wasn't upset and I have no reason to be. Yet, I was overwhelmingly sad while I painted this. 

Truth be told, my sadness never goes away - which is why I do my best to be positive. I don't like being sad, I don't like feeling down, and I don't like getting tangled up in that strings of darkness that cloud my mood, my judgment, my everything. I choose to be happy and the only way I can do it is to see the good in things and realize the better aspects of life.

Some people would say that I put up a façade, and some people would say that I'm being too far off from reality. I disagree. I don't deny any feelings I have and I'm not covering up anything. I acknowledge any sadness that I have, but I also choose to fight it. It's difficult, and like I said - it never goes away. The chaos in me remains.

However, I want life to be worthwhile. I love my family and I want to enjoy every moment I have with them. Yes, I choose to fight the storm in my head.